How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?
You know it. The whole universe tells you with all sorts of hints including your body. When something is no more a joy but a forceful action to keep it going then it’s time to unplug.
Let me take writing itself. Sometimes forcing it will make you feel robotic. You know that it’s not coming from the heart. But sometimes it is tough to differentiate between being blank and it is time to unplug.
If what you are doing brings a little joy then there is no need to think of regret or anything at all. But if it is becoming like a ticking time bomb then just switch off.
I do not think after I was born there was absence of internet but for sure not in abundance like now. The broadband BSNL was the connection in home as I remember which was used just for looking at exam results in Windows XP. I also had an orkut account on the 8th I guess. But before that it was just running around with kids of the same age or walking along with mom for hours looking at neighbours.
Now we breathe, eat and live with the internet. But till I was at least age 11, I did not care much about the internet and its hype. Now when I write I feel how peaceful it was, no judgement, no peer pressures of what others are achieving. You had to physically meet anyone if you needed to speak, video call was not even in the picture at that time.
Mornings were Doordarshan news and the tone of its headlines. Then the cartoon channel and my brother was so fond of pokemon that he used to wake up exactly at 8 to watch it. No matter who has the remote, he will get it by hook or crook. Then I was switching between 9XM and udaya music for hindi and kannada songs. The days went like this, and now one click we have a song.
From the era of Mango bite chocolates to Diary Milk, a lot of things have changed after the internet. Pay to live is the motto now where as just “live” without feeling pressurized was then.
In short we lost the simplicity even though things have been brought closer with the internet.
Edited note: That makes my 100th post here without even realizing. Another added boon for the internet.
Frankly, “having it all” had a different meaning to me at various stages of life. While growing up, moving to a standard college and then getting a job in the US or somewhere great was my “having it all”. It drastically changed when I completed my engineering degree. An engineering job, get married to someone who accepts me as it is, and settle down in Bangalore became the “having it all”.
When rejections started happening both in personal and professional life, “having it all” was far from reach. Again jumped on a different opinion of a satisfying job, a bit more pay, and a compatible partner. But life always humbles you when you have your “having it all”.
Chasing success, money, a partner, and so-called validation from society was the meaning of “having at all”. But I noticed that none of the times have all of these come together. If you have money and success, then a partner may not be what you wish. If you have the partner, then money may be missing.
If we define “having at all”, we will never be able to attain those. It is too much of philosophical sentences, I agree. But at my current age, which is 33, single, and happy with my expectations in job, society ends up tagging me as a failure. While I am here, earning well, sitting on the weekend with not much noticeable tensions.
But here’s what I’ve learned: as we age, the meaning of “having it all” fades. What remains is how you feel about your own life when no one’s watching. What remains is how you sleep at night, how light your heart feels on a Saturday afternoon.
I do doubt myself, become vulnerable, and think why this had to be this way. But if we have an answer, then where is the curiosity left?
I do not balance, they balance me. It is like whichever suits at the time that gets the priority. Balancing between work and home life is an art and not all are great artists in it.
I do not think balancing is the right word for it. Sometimes it is a team game when there is more than one person at home. So if the team is not united, individual performance shines but altogether it collapses. It will be balanced when all works together. And the people who are staying alone, balancing is out of the question. The person decides to work all day or do chores all day or lazily sit, there is balance only when everything messes up.
Growing up, I saw how difficult it was for many parents to focus fully on their kids because priorities pull in different directions. Yet I’ve also seen families with a strong work ethic still manage to maintain harmony at home. That, too, is a form of balance.
So here’s the thing, I can lead people and encourage them in all good ways. Be that strict when needed and fun at times. Obviously there is a but here. The problem is once I take full ownership it somehow panics me and in that panic I lose the role leadership. If without naming things are said to be carried I can but once you say I am the leader the position pressure kicks in.
It is far easier to be a leader than a follower. To become a follower you need to choose a role model or leader whom you will follow and that is a risky decision. All people come painted, no one is true to themselves and preaching to someone as your leader is like blindfolded walking to some destination.
I would rather choose to be a leader but in silent mode with no defined title provided to me.
I began with a book. It felt intriguing and worth trying: The book on the taboo against knowing who you are, by Alan Watts.
Just a few pages into the book, there was an interesting analogy on Buddhism and Christianity. It also covered the ideology of belief in God.
For a few years, I was fond of following through books related to beliefs and culture. Whenever I see or read through the Bible or Bhagavad Gita, I notice many things are preached similarly. It seems people have understood it differently. However, the ideology behind each is to focus on ourselves. It is not about the myths or stories behind them.
It is crazy, how people interpret things in their own fashion and fight on these aspects. The following ideology which the author says he would teach his kids sounds interesting :
He demonstrated a really effective way of tackling children’s questions about the existence of God.
I researched more about this author. In his later life, Alan Watts was not connected to Roman Catholicism. He was also not linked with Protestantism. He began as an Anglican priest, but later became more interested in Buddhism and Eastern philosophy. He eventually left the Episcopal Church and focused on popularizing Zen and Eastern religious and philosophical ideas.
Everything made sense, how his book leaned towards Vedanta myths and ideologies. Not much people try to compare between these beliefs, since criticism is an easy way in these topics.
I am not sure how the book explores self-discovery. It addresses the taboo about knowing who you are. However, I surely liked the author’s mindset over the beliefs.
What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?
I am always curious to know the following
1. how a high court judge or supreme court judge sleeps well after punishing a not guilty person mistakenly?
2. how a police officer takes a chance to beat the shit out of an innocent person to just prove the person not guilty.
3. how the prime minister of any country passes a bill which was a wrong move and becomes the sensational headlines in the media the next day.
So yeah If I do get a chance to do a job for just one day, it would be one of these. I would like to be either PM of any country or a DSP or a high court or supreme court judge. Crazy as it sounds but the way how these works sometimes makes me wonder how a human mind makes decisions unbiased.
And all of these jobs if I do take for more than a day, I am sure I will go mad.
It’s fascinating how positions of great authority like a judge, police officer, or prime minister, carry such enormous weight that one wrong decision can alter lives or entire nations. I often wonder how those in power reconcile with their mistakes, especially when they’re irreversible. Just imagining myself in their shoes, even for a day, is overwhelming. The human mind may strive for fairness, but biases, pressure, and limitations often get in the way. Respect to those who try to do justice, but a deeper reflection is surely needed on how we hold power accountable.
This is a personal opinion and not meant to target or defame any individual or institution.
I am not sure where I read this or how I found this quote. But what I knew was, this is the quote of my life.
My favorite is : “Never find yourself living without learning“.
You can find this quote added to my LinkedIn and Medium profiles.
Why do I love this?
From the moment we wake up to the end of the day, we live in curiosity. And what is this curiosity for? The never-ending questions about facts, stories, and more. What if we do not learn anything from any of these questions, will we be satisfied? I will not be!
Your energy, your mind, looks for something new, something which can make you more energetic, goal-oriented. When we do not have that passion within, we are living dead.
Any task you give me in life is a lesson I learn. Any person I meet provides valuable insights. If not, try to learn from them.
I start questioning my life when I do nothing and learn nothing. I think about all the not-so-good lists and aspects of my character.
Keep learning and the curiosity of learning is what makes life beautiful.
This happened in the year 2019. My pgmates made an impromptu plan for trekking in Ramanagar. It is the iconic place where the Sholay movie was shot.
Early morning we woke up. We took a bus to the camping area. The package was provided for the trekking and other activities. It was mango forest group which organized this camping. This was for 2 days and 1 night stay in a tent.
This was the first time I had an overnight stay in a small tent. My goodness, the trekking was the most terrifying experience. There was one temple at the top of the hill, which had to be climbed barefoot. We thought the rocks would have linear steps. To our surprise, it seemed like some kids had made a path in the rocks. Even the elderly people were climbing smoothly barefoot. Meanwhile, we young ones were holding each other while climbing with our shoes.
The experience to reach to the top was worth it. The camping was worth it. The morning we woke after camping, we had amazing views. The activities in those hills are adventurous. They are scary at the same time.
The risky decision I took in life, which I do not regret, is resigning a job. There was no other offer inline at that time.
I am a career oriented person which means I put my career first then the rest. Sometimes it is good to be career oriented. However, I was on the bad side of it. I will ignore my health or other priorities when it comes in front of work.
I took a software job with the expectation of learning new things. I also wanted a salary that could fill my pocket. But things turned out ugly in the first company. I was on the verge of a breakdown in my health and learning. The second jump was a desperate one where I searched randomly and had an offer, and decided to move ahead.
After 2 years in the second company, I was draining emotionally and mentally. Somehow I did not feel I got the right work or the money. To add fuel to it, the minimalist hike was given to me. Money was not everything to me. However, I had a feeling that I deserve more than this. I realized I am not a right fit here.
Did not take a back up or had interviews lined up, one morning I resigned. No overthinking, no drama just a sudden email to my manager. But that was only for that moment. Then the nervousness, fear and something being not right and what not. All the bad dreams or thoughts began. What if I remain unemployed? What if I have to move out of this place? There was a long list of what ifs.
3 months of this draining overthinking and the search during notice period. Still nothing in hand. I gave up and I felt this is the worst decision I have made.
1 week to the last day of the company, I cleared all rounds of an unknown company at those times. It might have been a desperate move but I decided to join and then never looked back.
That one risky decision turned out to be the best one where my entire career took a turn. I got the work I wanted, I got the pay that satisfied my mind. Obvious frustrations of IT jobs are still there and the politics around never fails to surprise me. But ignoring all these, I did take a huge leap of faith. I trusted myself when I made that decision.
If I think about it now, I cannot be that person again. Life sometimes is so unplanned, what we think and what we act are in two different directions.
ಮನದ ಮಾತುಗಳು ❤️🗣️ 